We have entered into the new year, and I wonder if I should’ve done a New Year’s Resolution. I have to remind myself I have not done a New Year’s Resolution in a long time for some great reasons.
I have never been one to make these resolutions “stick.” Not to say I don’t have goals, but a New Year’s Resolution just seems more daunting. It seems like it is something someone else forced me into doing because it is the start of the new year. Because of this feeling, I was almost never successful in my goal which then started a negative cycle of self-pity within myself.
As humans, we are constantly looking to grow and be better than we were before. We want to make changes and grow in areas we see fit and there is nothing wrong with that. My question though, how do I have goals but not let them overshadow my self-worth and continue to love myself?
I started with a question, “What does self-love mean to me?” Personally, self-love does not mean you stay complacent and you never work to make yourself better because you love the way you are right now. Self-love means you strive to make positive changes in your life to bring yourself happiness and positivity. Continuing to grow and make yourself even better than you already are.
Why do we focus on the negative?
Whenever we are asked to set goals, we immediately think of the things we think are “wrong” with ourselves, and then we set out to fix them. Why do we always focus on the negative? Why do we not pick a positive attribute and make it better?
When I set my next goal, I want to think about a quality I possess or an ability I already have and am proud of and create a goal that will enhance this quality. By focusing on a positive, I work to appreciate myself and abilities more. This is hard for me because I naturally want to lean towards the “fix-it” side of me.
Growth doesn’t happen overnight or in your comfort zone. When setting a goal, create a plan that will allow you to broaden your horizons and push yourself past what you think you are capable of. Knowing that there are dips and celebrations along the way. Celebrating the small success on the way to help motivates us to continue on our journey.
As you set and accomplish difficult goals, you will begin to truly believe you can accomplish challenging things. This newfound confidence will lead you to continue to go farther out of your comfort zone further building your confidence. By doing this, we start to break down this negative cycle of self-doubt within ourselves. In 2020, I applied myself in new situations I would otherwise would not have and each time it was an opportunity for me to grow. I look at this as a single snowflake rolling down a hill gaining momentum with other little snowflakes.
So, how do I have goals and push myself further but also strive for mental health? For me, balance. Taking each day as it comes and making one choice to get me closer to my overall goal. Realizing that there are highs and lows on these journeys and that is ok.
Scheduling time for yourself: whether that is taking a break for a walk, watching an episode of your favorite show, or finding a nice spot to settle and read a book. Do something that will help you rejuvenate and recharge before setting out on another journey. For me, I usually decide to take a walk with my puppy, Weston.
I have found when setting goals to have an mini checkpoints that help me celebrate my journey and process of achievement while still supporting self-love. This helps me stay motivated and focused but also realistic in that change takes time and to break negative self-talk. This past year I realized I needed to work on self-care and what that means to me. So for 2021, I am looking forward to loving myself more than I did the day before and accepting myself in all forms.
How do you feel about New Year’s goals? How do you accomplish the goals you set out? Let me know!